Farah's Story: Breastfeeding my adopted baby.
Yes, I’m breastfeeding my adopted baby! Yes, you can breast/chestfeed a baby without birthing! Yes, it’s hard! Yes, it’s worth it (even if you have little to no milk)! In March, my partner and I adopted our baby at 2 days old. I knew that I wanted to breastfeed her well before we were matched with her and years before she was born. In planning to nurse my adopted baby, I had a lot going for me:
I had a great experience nursing my biological son. It’s easier to lactate without birth if you’ve done it before. And, I knew I had a fairly strong supply and knew the joys of breastfeeding firsthand.
I saw a friend breastfeed her baby using a supplemental nursing system (SNS) years before. So, I knew that it was possible to nurse a baby even with a low (or no!) milk supply. With an SNS the baby is latched to you, you have all the attachment benefits of chest/breastfeeding but the baby is getting some or all of the milk through a tiny tube that pulls from a container of breastmilk or formula that you wear.
I read an amazing book Breastfeeding without Birthing that I learned about through the DC Breastfeeding Center. If you are trying to chest/ breastfeed without birth, I definitely recommend it. It provides various protocols and tips for starting and maintaining lactation. For me, one of the biggest lessons of the book was that “breastfeeding is possible no matter how much or little milk is produced—even if it is none at all!”
I knew when my baby was coming. This is an advantage that I hadn’t counted on but it happened that our baby’s birth parents chose us to adopt her months before she was born. This allowed me to research, create a plan, and start inducing lactation before she was born.
I had support from a lactation consultant once my baby arrived and was having trouble latching. She supported us with the latch and increasing my milk supply.
About 7 weeks before my little one was born, I started taking medication to induce lactation and pumping regularly. I pumped every three or four hours, including once during the night! By the time baby Z was born, I was pumping about 2 ounces each time. Enough to meet her initial needs. We adopted baby Z. at 2 days old in Florida. When we brought her home from the hospital I laid her on my chest for skin to skin contact. She immediately squirmed up, latched on, and began nursing! I started a routine of nursing her and then feeding formula through the SNS or a bottle if she was still hungry. She fed very slowly! I assumed that it was because I had a low milk supply but after a few days I realized that she was not latching completely.
When we got back to DC, I visited the Breastfeeding Center. Cheryl helped us with the latch and gave me suggestions for increasing my supply. She assured us that Z. could go between the breast and bottle without “nipple confusion” (and, of course, this proved to be right). She asked about my goals. I knew that I wanted to be able to nurse some, particularly during the middle of the night to have to avoid getting up! I hoped to be also be able to nurse out and about and not have to carry feeding supplies.
The next few weeks I, and to a lesser extent my partner, spent a lot of time nursing, pumping, hand expressing, taking supplements, prepping and cleaning the SNS, and bottle-feeding baby Z. I was on a schedule not just around feeding my baby but also for supplements / medication, hand expressing, and pumping. It felt like a lot. I starting cutting out some of these steps. I re-thought my goals. Yes, I wanted to be able to nurse my baby but I also wanted to play with my 5-year-old and start working part-time. I also enjoyed not having to participate in every feeding and having my partner bottle feed her. Soon, I was no longer pumping, expressing, or using the SNS. Z. is now nearly 5 months old. I continue to take medication to support lactation and nurse my baby when she asks (even if I don’t have much or any milk) and when I have the supply. She usually wants to nurse about once during the day when she’s upset or having trouble falling asleep. She also nurses during the night. This is a sweet, snuggly time we share and it allows us to skip a trip to the kitchen during the night. More bottle feeding also allows her dad to participate in feeding her more, which he really enjoys. Being able to breastfeed my baby has been such a joy. I love the closeness. I love that I can comfort and soothe her. I love seeing that she appreciates our closeness. And, I love knowing that she is getting the nutrients and immune support that breastfeeding provides. It’s also been such a gift to know that breastfeeding is not all or nothing. We’ve found a balance
Meet the Parent
Farah Fosse lives in DC. She works as a consultant on community organizing and affordable housing and teaches empowerment self-defense.
Meet the Lactation Consultant
Cheryl Zimmer, has worked with mothers and infants for 15 years in a hospital setting, including NICU preemies, late preterm infants, and infants that are small for their gestational age--specializing in the unique needs of premature and critically ill infants and mothers lactation needs. She actively supports families in need of lactation support with high-risk infants who experience nutritional challenges but enjoys helping and encouraging all new mothers to breastfeed their babies.