Partner support can make or break breastfeeding

Introduction

This week on The Breastfeeding Center’s blog, we’ll have a look at the various ways a partner can provide support while the nursing parent is breastfeeding. Often the non-nursing parent struggles to find their role in the breastfeeding experience, and luckily there are a good number of ways to be involved. IBCLC, Isabela Lessa, gives us a brief look into the breastfeeding experience and the different ways a partner or support person can offer vital support. As the title indicates, support can be the difference between an overwhelming breastfeeding experience and a thriving one for the whole family.

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Breastfeeding may seem like a solo act, relegated to only the nursing parent, but this is far from the case. Breastfeeding (or chestfeeding) is a dynamic that takes a village to support (from the immediate partner support, to the extended family, the community, societal, and the political level). Several studies have shown that when a nursing parent has a supportive partner breastfeeding is more likely to be successful. And with many of us living far away from extended family (which in other circumstances would provide much of the needed support), immediate partners are more important than ever. 

A partner may be a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, the baby’s grandparent, a sibling, other relative, or a friend. And there are many ways in which a partner can support breastfeeding. First though let’s talk about some things to avoid and some things keep in mind. 

Breastfeeding is a time intensive act, especially in the early weeks with most babies nursing 8-12x a day. There is a delicate and complicated hormonal interplay that happens between a baby and its nursing parent during breastfeeding, and the foundation of breastfeeding (latching, milk supply, and confidence building) happens in the first 4-6 weeks. During this time it’s especially important for the nursing parent to be able to exclusively breastfeed the baby if that is their choice. There are certainly exceptions; anytime a baby needs to be supplemented for medical reasons a bottle may become necessary. Otherwise the baby should have full access to nursing. This means avoiding introducing unnecessary bottles in the early weeks. Sometimes partners want to help by offering to bottle feed the baby while the nursing parent sleeps, but this can undermine breastfeeding and decrease milk supply. 

There are however several ways a partner can support breastfeeding. 

Ways to help, and bond with, the baby: 

• Do skin to skin. Babies thrive when placed skin to skin, it helps to stabilize their heart rate, body temperature, breathing, and blood sugar. 

• Wear the baby in a baby carrier, this is also a great way to soothe a baby

• Changes diapers. You’ll be doing this a lot, you may as well have fun with it and be proud 

• Burp the baby after feeds

• Give the baby a bath

• Do infant massage on the baby 

Ways to support the nursing parent

• Oxytocin released during breastfeeding causes thirst, so bring over a glass of water 

• Bring over pillows, blankets, burp cloths, or other items needed during feeding

• Wash pump or bottle parts if there are any 

• Cook some meals. Have snacks within reach of the nursing parent

• Take over pet care

• Bottle feed if supplementing becomes necessary. (After the first 4-6 weeks the occasional bottle given by a partner is less likely to interfere with breastfeeding)

• Provide emotional support and encouragement. Try validating how difficult breastfeeding can be sometimes “I know this has been hard. You’re doing great though, and look how much better the baby is feeding this week than last week!”

Breastfeeding can sometimes be a bit of a rollercoaster of a journey, but like any other goal worth working for it’s almost always worth the effort. Hang in there and you will be able to look back one day and know that you created this little being from scratch. 

At the Breastfeeding Center we offer a free partners support group. We encourage partners and support people to join! 

Sincerely,

Isabela Lessa, MPH, IBCLC

MEET THE AUTHOR

With a background in Psychology and Maternal and Child Health, Isabela is passionate about working with families to achieve their breastfeeding goals, whatever they may be, in a compassionate, and evidence-based way. Together she can help you work on poor infant weight gain, calibrating milk supply, latching difficulties, nipple and breast pain, feeding multiples, premature babies, returning to work, inducing lactation, weaning, and many other feeding issues. Consults in English and basic Portuguese.